Stop. Just, stop.

Getting married and being newlyweds means receiving a whole lot of advice.
Some, awesome ("don't go to bed mad," "always make out," etc.) 
Some, not so awesome ("your life is over,""just wait 'til you've been married as long as we have," etc.) 
Sadly, nothing cheapens the sacredness and excitement of marriage more than hearing those words.

Of all the advice I've heard, there's one phrase that sticks out and still kills me.

"Oh, you're just in the honeymoon phase. Wait a few years THEN that's marriage."
(explanation: "You may be happy now, just wait...your marriage will get worse and you're doomed to fail.")

Let's define "honeymoon stage," shall we?
(Happiness, unconditional love, fun, spontaneity, physical attraction, etc.)

Marriage is hard. 
I get it. 
I knew that. 
Our literal "honeymoon phase" ended the second we came back to (insert horrible town, USA) and we were "kicked out" of our house. 
We both lived and worked in miserable places for the first 6 months of our marriage. 
I grew depressed and lonely as I felt the life being sucked out of me. 
The amazing thing, Brandon was by my side the whole time. 
Never once did we think to call it quits (when, according to the world, we honestly had every reason to.) 
We knew that God didn't bring us together in marriage for it to be easy. 

Staying in the "honeymoon phase" is a choice
It's me choosing every day that Brandon is the most important thing to me and acting on that love. 
It's a choice for Brandon to show that he will always love and provide for me.
Choosing to love each other when all our faults have been brought to life, that's marriage.
Is it easy? 
Will we ever master it? 
Heck no. 
We mess up, we fight, we get over it. 

I know that when we are 60 years old, we will still be in the "honeymoon phase."
Brandon will still come up with stupid adventures that I'll tag along with because I will still be head over heels for him. 
Don't cheapen that by telling me "it's just a phase."
Because, I hope and pray with all my heart that my marriage will never be a "phase."

Maybe your marriage is so bad that you have to warn others from it. 
Maybe you have lost your love for your spouse so much that now marriage is dull to you. 
If that's true, I am so sorry for your loss.

Or maybe you mean it as joke, not to be taken seriously.
Whatever your reason, truly think about the damage you are creating before you say those crushing words.

Just, stop.

1 comment:

  1. Amen, Amen, and Amen! I could NOT agree with you more!