My last post was a "happy little one" about waiting.
Little did you know, I was expecting something big to happen (cue "perfect job.")
Little did I know, not an hour later, "perfect job" would be taken off the table completely.

So now I'm swallowing some of those things I wrote.
"Be grateful for what you have."

I'm at a complete loss for words and I can feel my faith draining.

Earlier this summer, everything was "perfect."
After years of battling infertility, Brandon and I found out we were pregnant.
Then, I got an amazing teaching position at a (seemingly) wonderful school.
2 of our biggest prayer requests answered.

Once the school found out I was pregnant and would need maternity leave, they withdrew their offer.


Fast forward a few months, another "perfect" (this time, non-teaching) position seemed to fall into my lap.
It would use my organization, party planing skills, creativity, plus give me more hours to have a comfortable security for our growing family.
This afternoon, it walked away.


I wish I could say right now I feel confident that it will all be okay.
I wish I could say that being a pastor's wife means I never have unwavering faith.
But I can't bring myself to lie to you, to myself.

I'm not writing this to receive pity.
Normally, I keep things light and airy on here, or I wait until the storm has passed to tell you what God brought us through.
But right now, I need prayers, encouragement, and maybe some hugs (and Kleenex's.)


  1. Praying with you! In his timing! Rest in the fact that no matter where you are or what you are going through, our God is never surprised and he is never taken off guard! For every moment under the sun, there is a purpose!

  2. Love you, Lauren. Thanks for always being raw and honest. It encourages me (and I'm sure other people) to see that we don't all always have it together. And that sometimes our faith wavers from side to side. Also, praying for you. :-)

    1. Thanks, Anna. My hope is that I'm always being used by God, even in the not so happy times. :)

  3. praying-heather

  4. Praying for you, Lauren. None of us having unwavering faith, whether we are in official ministry or not. I have to remind myself all the time that God is faithful, always, even we doubt and fear and have a hard time trusting.

    P.S. Is that legal for them to withdraw their offer after they found out you are pregnant? Had you already signed a contract? That sounds sketchy to me.

    1. Well, it was a private school and I hadn't signed the contract yet. So, it's legal...just really unfortunate.

  5. Lauren, I'm very sorry to hear about the recent disappointment you're experiencing now. As my father taught me, "Tough times don't last. Tough people do." That knowledge has served me well during some extremely trying times in my life. I sincerely hope that "The Plan" is revealed to you soon and that it exceeds your previous hopes by a mile. Hang in there in the mean time.

    1. Thank you, Keith! I know this will only grow my faith and make me stronger. :)

  6. Praying for you. <3